Looking Back on Clearwater

by Rita Ezri

Rita writes her reflections on her son Jeremy’s education—a year at Clearwater when he was five, followed by first grade at a public school, then a move to Canada.

I thought I would share some of my thoughts now that Jeremy has just about finished his first year of public school. Sometimes it takes some perspective to realize how good something can be. I must say when Jeremy first started public school, things seemed to be going perfectly. Jeremy listened to the teachers, was at the top of the class and well liked by everyone. What more could I as a parent, ask? And yet there was a sadness in me that I couldn’t put into words.

Perhaps it started the day I was volunteering at his school and watched him through the window at recess standing in line doing what the teacher said. I see now why this was so sad; it was the beginning of the loss of individuality and entering into conformity. It was such a subtle process.

There were little things, like the day he told me they couldn’t go out to play until they finished eating their lunches. They could not let their bodies decide if they were hungry but rather some “outsider” did. So I told him to hide his lunch in his bag if he wasn’t hungry. I was encouraging my child to be deceptive. And then there was the day it snowed at school and the kids were told not to touch the snow! Why??

Of course there are countless other examples. There were many times Jeremy had ideas as to how to do things and those ideas were shunned even before they were really thought out. Jeremy was so used to being listened to and respected at Clearwater that he assumed teachers would do the same. At first he kept trying to change things, even suggesting the teacher go with him to the principal so they could talk. It never happened. After awhile he became more disillusioned and stopped caring. He complained of constant boredom and unhappiness.

New country, new school, maybe things would be different. The only difference was kids were allowed to play in the snow!! Jeremy ended up missing a month of school with moving and yet within the month he went right to the top of the class. I tried to become quite involved with his schoolwork for fear he might be behind. I discovered much to my chagrin that things he knew at Clearwater were forgotten. I knew he was stagnating but I didn’t realize that being in this environment actually caused him to regress.

Of course at Clearwater, he didn’t realize he was learning and that was the beauty of it. He would buy his chips and know what change to expect instead of doing a “unit” on money or arithmetic. There was a sharpness to him at 5 that is not there at 7. It is like he was forced to bury a part of himself when he entered the public school system. I must say I have a lot of respect for Jeremy for coping with a situation where he is unhappy almost everyday.

It is a funny thing, if adults are unhappy with their jobs we tell them to find a new job. We have enough respect for adults that we would think it cruel to see someone unhappy day after day and will even provide education for them to change jobs. We know that as a society we benefit when people are happy at their jobs. And yet we won’t do the same for our children. They are told to “grin and bear it”. I have uttered these same words to my child. We tell them it is the law and that is it. It is amazing that most kids do turn out “all right.”

I am glad we gave Jeremy the “opportunity” to try the public school system. It made me have a new respect for “democratic” schools. We are all different as human beings with different learning styles and interests. What right do we have to create a system that ignores this?

I still think one of the best things about Clearwater was the Judicial Committee. It teaches the child to be accountable in a fair way. I wish this could be implemented in other schools. The punishments are so arbitrary in other schools and there is usually little incentive to avoid them. Being told to do their work in the principal’s office may be seen as a reward to some students. Perhaps they need the attention or perhaps they are overwhelmed by a classroom situation and do better away from it. In any case it does not usually help a child to do better in school.

Democratic schools respect individuality yet still “teach” kids how to be part of a group. Sometimes when you are in The Clearwater School you don’t really see this. We are so hung up on making sure our kids are learning that we forget the real reasons we are sending them there. It is also a time-consuming process. There are no tests or report cards to guide a parent in a child’s progress. It seems like we need something tangible to measure learning. I know when Jeremy was at Clearwater it drove me nuts that I had nothing tangible with which to measure his progress. Well now I have it. My child is an “A” student in two different schools and I now see how meaningless this is. It doesn’t mean my child is smart; he just knows how to work the system. He knows what the teachers want to hear.

If that is what our society considers “smart” than I guess he is smart. I see how much precious time he has lost sitting in class all day when he could do “real” learning. Organizing a field trip, or speaking his mind at a school meeting and having his ideas taken seriously, or building a fort and working as a team, doing chores which are truly meaningful and keep the school clean. The list goes on...

Jeremy is home schooling this year and Rita has joined a founders group that is staring a Sudbury school in Toronto.